Who I Look Past

Who I Look Past

I'm coming to the realization that I am more comfortable with the oddly innapropriate and flamboyantly eccentric, even the theologically porous-who clumsily find themselves hungering and thirsting for the Room of Grace, than I am with the intimidatingly, smugly together and aloof, airtight proponents of the Room of Good Intentions.

I just returned from two days of filming television shows with Jim Bakker. I've never met anyone even nearly like him. On just about everything I had judged him all those years, I was wrong. He has admitted to great wrong in his life, but was ultimately exonerated of any wrong doing by a jury for the verdict that landed him in prison. An incredible lawyer from Duke defended him, calling it the greatest miscarriage of justice he'd seen in the last 50 years. And now Jim has an insatiable passion, driven energy and magnificent dreams of what he can still do on this planet. He owns little but is compelled to create facilities and a healthy infrastructure that will allow the young people he is training in broadcast media to take over his show, in their way.

But his methods and causes are as similar to mine as cobalt- enfused wheat is to a lunar eclipse. He crusades for unconventional nutritional health, and for disaster preparedness, some from his conviction of coming Biblical catastrophe. Neither of these are of any particular significant interest to me. He promoted our books as part of a package that included his own soy butter. Soy butter. (It was really good) He is a transparent mess of sharing vulnerable pain that I'd probably save for a few. He cries at the drop of a hat. Even if there were no hat nearby he'd cry. From outside he can appear comical. He's an easy target for mockers.

But he is becoming a dear friend. And I'm very proud of it. He and his wife Lori and almost the entire staff and team with him are devouring The Cure. They study the videos in the study guide for their film classes. They underline and mark up the book like those trying to ingest a survival guide before walking into the outback. They have an on site choir most of the staff sings in. Their rehearsal contained some of the most powerfully beautifully sung music I'd ever heard. Then afterwards, they surrounded me and prayed over me for my heart and what I would speak the next several days. I went to bed deeply convicted at how small my concept has been of who "gets" life. I'm weary and leery of a faith reserved for only the cool, hip and appropriate. This Original Good News sometimes travels most quickly with those I'd look past.

I had such incredibly good time sharing life and hearts with them on set, at dinners and with the various wonderful new friends who served me with such kind and honoring love. And in all our conversations and telling of our deepest sadnesses and greatest joys, never once, have we ever felt the need to belittle or correct the other about our potential differences in theology or approach to ministry. Over time I imagine we'll earn the permission to protect each other in areas that might harm the other or unwittingly cause error. This trip, we just got to love each other well. I will visit them again. Stacey and I probably will return to hang out. Bill and Bruce might return to train their teams, giving them some actual content and wisdom.

I wonder if this whole journey has nothing to do with station or hipness or style or appearance, or lack of it. I wonder if the citizens of the Room of Grace include every office, role, title and postion. I wonder if I will find them everywhere, in every place, in every setting, in every style and socio-political-economic setting. I wonder if the common denominator for those I feel safest with is the humbled conviction of trusting Christ in me, who adores me; to mature the already changed me-rather than performing for Christ so He'll one day change me and perhaps be pleased enough with me.

Maybe I'm becoming more comfortable with the "oddly innapropriate and flamboyantly eccentric, even the theologically porous-who clumsily find themselves hungering and thirsting for the Room of Grace"-because I very much resemble that remark myself.

Anyway, thank you for loving me, for loving us, regardless of where this message takes us. It means everything.

John, one of the three amigos, part of the ever-growing tribe of grace...

6 comments (Add your own)

1. Marisa wrote:
"The oddly inappropriate and flamboyantly eccentric, the theologically porous-who clumsily find themselves hungering and thirsting for the Room of Grace"....these are the salty ones.

I have been guilty all my life of trying to always be "cool, hip and (especially ) appropriate". Never realizing that I was making myself unpalatable. I've been on an adventure of finding my saltiness again and letting God be the impressive one.

Ed Underwood, who I think you may know, blogged this morning:

"If you let me open the book of my choice, you’re going to read about a pretty
impressive guy.

But if I let you open the book only God and I are reading, you’re going to read about a
pretty impressive God.

You won’t be at all impressed with the type of people He loves.

But you will be impressed with the grace it takes for Him to love someone like me.

And then, what will you do?

If you’re religious, you’ll probably throw up your hands and say something about
“cheap grace.”

If you’re honest, you’ll throw up your hands and worship the God of grace.

Honesty invites grace; hiddenness repels grace."

Sounds pretty familiar.

I had no idea Jim Bakker was still on TV. I had to check out the website. We so easily blackball and dismiss people, thanks for sharing your enlightening experience.

.."the common denominator for those I feel safest with is the humbled conviction of trusting Christ in me, who adores me; to mature the already changed me-rather than performing for Christ so He'll one day change me and perhaps be pleased enough with me."

Yes! I long for these people in my life, whatever outdated or unconventional or cooler than me packaging they may come with.

Wed, May 30, 2012 @ 7:02 AM

2. Marci wrote:
I love what you wrote. I'm finding that my spiritual world is enlarging and I love it. I read his book right after he got out of prison and saw his heart. I have been so guilty of pre-judging people from opinion of peers and not listening or reading for myself. Being in an inter-denominational Bible study was the beginning of my spirirual world enlarging and the Intensive in Tulsa along with studying the book of Romans at the same time just further opened my spirit. I've learned from people I used to change channels to avoid because of what I'd "heard" about them without listening for myself. Learning about grace and the Room of Grace has truly enlarged my life and my love for others. Thank you John, Bill and Bruce.

Wed, May 30, 2012 @ 6:30 PM

3. Ken and Diane wrote:
We spoke of your oddly inappropriateness last night on a conference call and found a warm place of no-shame. Tears rolled off my cheeks as I listened to your heart, won't it be so swell to help them walk the plank too. I am so proud of you and Stacey. Of the increasing tribe of His Grace, that was a blessing. big hugs from NC, Ken and Diane.

Thu, May 31, 2012 @ 4:21 AM

4. Carol wrote:
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're pcfeert in every way and I so know that I am far from pcfeert and even to say that I am humble is embarrasing in every way. I remember those games on the Seal Cove ball diamond when the guys from all the island villages got together. With great hollering and laughter it was great fun to watch as those experts played the game they loved so much. I wasn't much of an expert at sports and even now my golf game needs much repair, but I believe that I learned something even watching those experts. It was the cameradery and the bonding of people together that I liked to see. Perhaps I even learned that the faith we have in each other (to play hard and win the game) is small compared to the great love the expert in love and creating has for us and how excited He is when just one of us turns to Him in repentance and the angels in heaven rejoice along with Him. It's better than a home run.

Wed, June 20, 2012 @ 8:06 AM

5. sbxgkvclg wrote:
8YSAAB tqvtgpzfrszh

Fri, June 22, 2012 @ 3:55 AM

6. Phyllis Wilson wrote:
It is January 2013 and I have watched you on the Jim Bakker Show for 5 days now. I did make a comment on another of these blogs but I just want to say what a powerful presentation you made about the Room of Grace. My tears kept flowing as I watched each day. After a 60 year walk of trying to "please God" and falling so short of that goal, I am now on the path of "TRUSTING" Him. I am looking forward to reading "The Cure."

Thu, January 3, 2013 @ 10:03 PM

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