First Love Loved

First Love Loved

You can go almost nowhere in Christian circles without hearing the term, “spiritual formation.” And you can rarely hear the term without the accompanying term “spiritual disciplines.” Spiritual formation is a wonderful concept. It potentially captures the entirety of what it means to mature into who we’ve already been made. And spiritual disciplines are as right as rain, the very practices of believers for centuries, who enjoy their God. Prayer, reading of the word, scripture memorization, solitude, fasting, etc, etc.

But the Room of Good Intentions will quickly find a way to parlay even the most noble pursuits into another dead attempt to placate God or prove my relatively superior holiness to others or above others. So we always flinch when we hear a “life coach” or a “spiritual formation director” breathlessly touting their new program of getting students to become more disciplined in their disciplines. A discipleship system built on a rigorous system of the spiritual disciplines and not emphasizing trusting over pleasing, and the power of new life in me over the fervency of technique or self-disciplined practice is just a old dead moralism, in a new garb.

Our bent towards wanting to assuage our shame by doing enough of something is always attempting to trump what wants to come naturally out of a changed heart. God says it is impossible to please him by doing enough of anything, if it does not come out of trusting who He says we are, and who He says He is in us. He wants love to freely draw us to Him. Even beautiful things are enemies of this “drawing to Him” if they put us into an “ought to” methodology and grind.

For awhile the grind will feel right and will give you a sense of rightness. But it will alter the chemistry of love and trade it for false supports that never lets lovers long again for love.

God has little interest in a solitude attempting to gain increased anything from God by the duration of fervent anything by anyone. The same is true of Bible reading or prayer. For He wants us to come to Him because we’ve experienced His love and we’ve come to feel safest and most right in His presence.

It’s like anything we do as parents. We can teach our children to religiously resent anything if we make it a chore or a duty that they must do enough of to get something with God. How many millions of kids learned to hate playing the piano because their parents forced them into it, with the slogan that one day the child would thank them for it. Much better to teach, model, nurture love of the piano, of music that would draw that child into a passion no parent could demand. The best and most passionate musicians learned music as a way to form language to express what they had to get out. They could not well exist without expressing it.

Such is the nature of love. Love is not forced or demanded, but given freely and fully because it can imagine doing nothing less. It is the unbridled behavior of joy for the lover.
There is no power, no life in disciplines. There is everything right and wonderful to set aside times that allow me to do what I long to do, to craft my world around what brings me life. And I may gain value by having mentors guide me into such. But when I miss the reason why I would want to be with Jesus, and instead see it as something I do to keep on the good side of Jesus, or to prove my love and piety, or from fear of growing dry, then something horrible has happened. It becomes not just a wrong methodology, but a destructive manner of relationship with God.

There is nothing necessarily gained just by the doing of an activity. Attempts at prayer done for a wrong reason, for the wrong outcome is just yapping into space.

And no amount of doing a discipline, no matter how noble the behavior seems, can change the heart. Instead, the heart must motivate the behavior. You don’t stop lying because you’ve learned a method that has “disciplined your tongue.” You’ll lie less because you’ve trusted this new heart and grown weary of a false identity and instead come into the light. You’ll lie less because you have allowed yourself to receive more love.

There is no power in disciplines. There is incredible power in trust or faith, which allows us to experience His love—a love, that often expresses itself in prayer, Bible reading, solitude, memorization, and such.

It’s why we are cautious to hear that the entire methodology of a spiritual formation department is spiritual disciplines.

We hear too often, “But if I don’t do these, I’ll go dry and distant from God.” Really? That’s what’s holding your love to Jesus and His to you? Really? If so, it does not say much for your new identity or the compelling beauty of His love or the wooing of His Spirit living in you. Could it be, instead, that we’ve not given ourselves the chance to get thirsty, so we would voluntarily, like a deer pants for water, find what we’ve been missing in trying to be fulfilled by anything less?

Many of us are making this life too hard. The commands of God have become burdensome, just the opposite of what He claims they are. The new heart, the new nature, this fused-with-Christ new being is wired to seek Him out, to live its life in heartfelt obedience to Him. We simply need teachers who can give us clear channels, woo our beings, and whet our appetite. For even lovers get preoccupied with lesser beauty. God knows how to draw His beloved. And it’s just fine to get dry so I would cry out to have that thirst slaked. Woe to the one who gets in the way by turning that transaction of lovers into pietistic obligation.

The attempt of religious superiority by proving through any means who is the most sold out to Jesus, is a game which has lost its dice, cards, and board pieces. We are returning to our First Love. And we are returning by rejecting even noble pursuits trying to talk us into it. We are returning because it’s what lovers do. We are returning because it’s who we are.



17 comments (Add your own)

1. Marie Louise Cassidy wrote:
That was an eye opener, thank you!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 1:48 AM

2. Ron Krommendyk wrote:
Needed to hear that againg this morning.
I am taking that with me today.

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 2:46 AM

3. Sharon Shuler wrote:
Such powerful true words! They expose lies that enslaved me when I was a sold out but tired believer. Sadly, life can still beat us up, even in the room of grace. If we forget this love that frees and heals us, we can become as exhausted and confused as we were in the room of good intentions. Receiving Gods efficacious love in every season is the only balm that heals our broken hearts. Thank you for this refreshing reminder to live loved!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 2:52 AM

4. Ron Wiley wrote:
Wonderful expression of the power of living loved and being wooed by that love to trust more in transforming us from the inside out! Thank you!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 3:50 AM

5. Ron Wiley wrote:
Hmmm.... was this blog posted from Hawai'i? I thought it was 6:50 am (MDT) when I commented, but now I see that it was much earlier! Guess I'll go back to bed!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 3:58 AM

6. Andrew Koornstra wrote:
And bang on again John what a transforming pardoxical message! Oh, that the body of Christ would have eyes to see and ears to hear truth through authentic and intimate contact with the One Who is head over heals with them!!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 7:43 AM

7. Tara Owens wrote:
A spiritual formation department forcing or insisting on disciplines is not spiritual formation department at all—or if it is, it is spiritual deformation.

As one who sits with others, who hopes, longs, waits, desires with others, as one who resists programs and postures and instead listens, ohsocarefully, ohsoquietly for the cries of the heart long lost to love, the heart looking for love once again, I so agree with you.

If you're touting a program, you're not touting Christ—the Lover, the One who woos and gives and lets it be free.

But I'm also wary of turning people away from tools, things, helps that reopen wounded hearts, that encourage time with the One who longs for them and whom they ultimately long for. Sometimes, sometimes, disciplines help. Not because they are worthy or worth anything in and of themselves, but because they can be windows of grace, steps of love. Not because they have to, but because they want, oh they want, to.

And as a spiritual director myself, I hope, I pray that people know that when I journey with others, it's a journey of grace and openness and looking together for the intimate fingerprints of God, and running together into His embrace. It's not about getting more spiritual or putting on more religious garments, it's not about performance but just about receiving, and opening up, opening up more and more and more to receive—all by God's love and contact.

And I wince a little, I admit, in reading this post. Not because I disagree, but because in reminding others of the grace, the freedom, the pure love of God who receives and pours out and who always will, it's so easy to decide that we are better than others, better than their attempts at doing the same. I wince a little, because I wonder if those who don't know me, don't know how I journey with others might pick up the brush and paint me the same way you are painting those "breathlessly touting" their programs. I wonder if you're painting me that way, too.

And I know in the wincing that God is at work, and there is more freedom for me from worrying about being defined by others opinions, and I know that I'm here to say, "Yes" and "Ow" at the same time and just be the broken, beautiful Beloved of God that I am, here with you, living it out, receiving grace, being loved and loving one another.

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 8:14 AM

8. John Lynch wrote:
Thanks dear Tara. That helps me a lot. I think I have protected that side of the fence so long that I forgot to protect it here, while I winced at the danger on the other side of the convictions we both carry. Thank you friend. I so deeply trust and value all you cats do. I am so sorry I made you feel included in my concern. Thanks. John

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 8:40 AM

9. Heidi wrote:
Thank you for this blog. I read "The Cure" and felt God talking straight to my heart. The words here are so encouraging that I can't help but say thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit and sharing. Above all God is good, and He loves us all:)

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 9:05 AM

10. Dan Landon wrote:
I too felt God talking directly to me. For years I lived with a sense of shame thinking that I needed to work to earn Gods love. I lived in the room of good intentions, working and striving to please a God who wasn't even angry at me. After several years of living in the room of grace I realize that all the good things I'd been trying to prove about myself were already there inside me. I just had to trust God and others with me. Thank you for The Cure.

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 1:01 PM

11. Russ wrote:
...sin is not imputed where there is no law...Rom 5. We have nothing to prove because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts. That takes the pressure off, If we will beieive it. keep em coming John!

Thu, July 12, 2012 @ 4:23 PM

12. Ron Lindblom wrote:
I love the feeling of deep love for God, sprinkled with the infatuation that I have in seeing His greatness every day. Thriving here in Michigan on your messages of trusting in God!

Fri, July 13, 2012 @ 3:49 AM

13. Tara Owens wrote:
Thanks, John, for your response, and for seeing me. I, too, deeply value all YOU cats do. As long as we're seeing each other, warts, owies and all, it's all good.

Grace & peace to you this day.

Fri, July 13, 2012 @ 7:02 AM

14. Leigh Ross wrote:
This post captured my attention right away. I appreciated Tara's comment and your response to them, John. I read through the comments specifically because I wanted to see if anyone else had that same cautious reaction to tread carefully when it came how we view, discuss and live out spiritual formation.
John, this post is so interesting to me and I appreciate what you are saying and I agree with you wholeheartedly! There is not an ounce of doing that can ever "help" me be who God says I am. I appreciate that you give wise words of caution when it comes to disciplines and our motives in practicing them.
I first encountered the TrueFaced material in a Spiritual Formation class in a very conservative seminary in 2006. We had exposure to various materials on the subject. So, for me, when I read TrueFaced, The Cure, the blogs, listen to the podcasts I equate all of this with what I would call True Spiritual Formation. They are one in the same to me. I laugh as I write this because I am very aware at how we all have filters and experiences that cause us to process
things so differently.
Encountering TrueFaced in that course changed my life. It helped bring healing to my heart and move me forward on my journey to maturing into God's dreams for me. These materials are a firm foundation to what I condider part of my own Spiritual formation. I am currently considering pursuing training to be a spiritual director. This post has expressed some of the tension I am wrestling with and have not been able to give voice to.
I write all of this just to say I think The Cure is Spiritual Formation. At least it is how I have viewed, imagined and dreamed Spiritual Formation to be.
In Christ, Leigh

Sun, July 15, 2012 @ 5:45 AM

15. John Sebreros wrote:
The phrase "first love" is helpful. Now i know why my first love was so enjoyable, those first weeks and months after becoming a Christian included the disciplines being fun. I understand that for me to now walk in loving God and others is the first foundation of trusting He really loves me. I was so exctied that God loved me, but as time passed with sinning I didn't think he still seen me and felt the same about me. I have returned to my first love only by trusting he really loves me just as he did at the beginning, and I am as righteous as when he first washed away my sins.

Mon, July 16, 2012 @ 8:33 AM

16. Linda wrote:
Kelly, I have been enjoying your words of ecmouragenent. Each post has been a timely reminder to remain in Him and be faithful. Thank you for taking me on this journey with you. The Lord has been tugging at my heart as I read and assuring me again that He is with me and that apart from Him my attempts at Love, (that is: 'to Love' -the verb, and the TRUE LOVE that is pure and an overflowing of Christ's love for us) fail. So thank you for writing. I enjoy hearing your heart through the words. I love you sister and I MISS you!

Sat, September 8, 2012 @ 3:16 PM

17. zsbpyhai wrote:
G0ng9f ggchdanoarji

Mon, September 10, 2012 @ 9:36 PM

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