“Jesus, you have refused to expose me for the fraud I have often feared I am. You could have; in the name of my own good. But you didn’t. You don’t. You knew all along all the seditious and unbelieving thoughts I’ve carried. I thought for the longest time you were just picking the perfect time. That you’d listen to my preaching and think: ‘The crowd sure liked you this morning, funny boy. They think you’re something. They call you the pastor and such. We both know different. You’re a fraud. And you’re using my pulpit to play out this charade. I haven’t decided what I’ll do yet, but it will break you down until you give up your idols and your heart is after only me. Just know its coming. You’ll thank me.’
Jesus, I no longer believe you think that way. Instead, you have patiently allowed your love to do its work, without the severity, intimidation and threat. While knowing my weakness, failure and immaturity, you are able to fully enjoy me and somehow employ what I do. These days, more often than not, I believe you gather the angels, and say something to this effect: ‘You gotta watch this! I know I made him and everything good that comes from him. But that, what he’s doing right now? That’s just flat out funny.’
The result is, I trust you with me. And slowly but surely, I grow weary of my idols; longing to more fully enjoy the one who has loved me so incredibly along this road.”
Posted on
Thu, January 17, 2013
by John Lynch